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Saturday, December 3, 2016

Review: Krupskaya/Foible Instinct - split


The Krupskaya/Foible Instinct split album is perhaps the worst thing I’ve heard this entire year, except for that sound of gunfire and screeching tires down the block from my place. Or was that someone’s Xbox?

KRUPSKAYA:

I’m sure the lads of Krupskaya of Stoke-on-Trent will tell me to sod off, as I don’t have a record, but the welcome attention from my sordid review will help sell records for this Tabasco-in-the-Ear opus. That a UK band naming itself after a Russian revolutionary is kind of ….cool, the music, for me, is a turn off. Named as ‘Grindcore’, (I will rename it as Crap-Core) these 3 tracks suck in the most ultimate way.

A hodgepodge of sci fi sounding FX, recorded radio edits and lowstrung guitars makes this a fab opus for the Crap-Core genre. How can you dance to this? Where’s the melody, the riffs, the 12 minute lyrical exchanges? Oh wait, sorry…

‘In Silent Waters There Is No Light’ is a plodding piss-piece until the disjointed ‘music’ that appears at 1:40 whereupon I shat myself at the sheer ferocity of it; I should have turned the stereo down for this. Horrible.

‘Stormtroopers for Christ.’ Really? Stormtroopers For Every Soul That Has Been Taken To Hell; please re-name. This one heated my beer.

‘Order of the New Templars’ takes off where the Order of the Old Templars left off; non-existent. I made something like this in high school on tape recorders with my “band”, and it was shit too.

3/10: Only because they have a record and the stones to leave something like this in a time capsule for the aliens.

FOIBLE INSTINCT:

Not much better than its partner on this disc, this has some promise I suppose as I heard some vestiges of old VoiVod in there, which, I didn’t like back then anyway. Their FB says they are from Kyiv and playing grindcore since 2006 but, isn’t that just being…slave to the grind? Maybe try some folk or soul and THEN go back to playing metal.

Do you guys know what a foible is? Small eccentricity indeed…

I have ignored most of ‘Dead Children’. I hate titles and images like this, so I don’t give a toss about the music. I’m sure the rest of it sucked.

‘In Line’ OK. Moderate shit.

‘On The Other Side’ showed a smidge of promise with some actual strumming from 00:47, but again, shit.

Oh a vestige of a listenable guitar solo on ‘I Don’t Need Your World’ at 00:32! But, yes shit yet again.

The rest is barely tolerable and makes me want to take a cheese grater to my nose (it could use some shaving down, actually) and isn’t a clear representation to what grindcore is supposed to be. It’s an assault on the senses in the worst sense and horrible production work in my shatty view. Although this is possibly what this genre hoots for, it’s not proper music to me and leaves a marginal impression on the sands of time.

3/10 for no apparent reason.

Written by Alessandro

Krupskaya Official Website
Krupskaya Facebook
Krupskaya Twitter
Foible Instinct Facebook

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